• DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    “Can I go to the bathroom?”

    “I don’t know, can you?”

    “Yes, I physically can, but if you don’t give me permission, I CANNOT use the bathroom without repercussions.”

    Fuck, the memories that this brings back have triggered me, lol.

  • Rolando@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Alternate ending: In life the vampire had been a logician, and thus intepreted the statement as an implied “yes”…

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Punctuation too:

    “A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

    “Why?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife annual and tosses it over his shoulder.

    “I’m a panda,” he says, at the door. “Look it up.”

    The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

    Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

    ― Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation

    You see a panda walk into a bar, duck down on the floor and get to the nearest exit. They be cray cray.

    • Nelots@lemm.ee
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      7 days ago

      "I don’t know, may you?

      The vampires never would have gotten my older brother when I was growing up.

      • mitchty@lemmy.sdf.org
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        7 days ago

        My late gram too, every dam time: I don’t know young man, can you do a thing or may you? Why are you asking my permission about your ability to do stuff?

        She was a stickler for using may.