• optissima
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    2 months ago

    I’ve seen women bail on long term relationships in ways that are 100 percent because they just want to sleep around.

    Someone got cucked and is bitter about it 😂

    Edit, y’all aren’t realizing that no cheating is a 100% thing and this person is blaming one of the 2 victims regardless, you all just want to blame one person with no self-reflection.

    • hesusingthespiritbomb@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      No my SO is a wonderful woman who is a feminist in the sense that she does not enjoy any form of gender roles. That was extremely common when we first started dating. We are both pretty happy in our relationship.

      My frustration comes from watching a lot of my guy friends struggle. Just because I’m not the one being cucked doesn’t mean I appreciate seeing it in my social circles or appreciate seeing that behavior being defended.

      Again, there’s a lot of dialogue about how women need to stick up for other women. The idea that men have to be in it for themselves is ridiculous.

      That being said, I would have every right to be bitter if my SO pressured me into an open relationship, and my friend group watched because a small amount of women were very supportive of the idea and nobody wanted to confront them. That’s an extremely fucked up position to put anyone in.

      • Soup@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        As long as the woman is clear about it then your guy friends chasing that which cannot be caught is on them. Love is not a transaction and even if it was women have every right not to do business with people they don’t want to do business with.

        In your example if your SO wanted an open relationship and you didn’t then that is when you say “if this is a deal breaker for both of us then we had a good run but I’m sorry.” It sucks, sure, but if you turn around and tell her that she can’t do what feels right to her then all you’re doing is using the relationship to pressure her into monogamy. It doesn’t fucking matter how popular or rare an idea is because you and your SO are individuals and have your own, individual needs. I mean christ, in your example you’re mad because a minority of women are supportive of her choice and that somehow makes it wrong? Do you hear yourself?

        • hesusingthespiritbomb@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Again, my SO has never shown interest in “ethnical non monogamy”. She was actually a lot quicker to pass judgment on the subject when it first entered the public zeitgeist. I came to my conclusions about ethnical non monogamy after meeting people who practiced that IRL and watching their relationships implode. My SO would make it clear that she doesn’t approve of that lifestyle and didn’t want to make any moves to form direct friendships with them as opposed to simply being in the same social circle.

          Are you in a relationship?

          • Soup@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            You offerer a hypothetical, I continued it.

            I was in one, it was open, and while the openess was never really explored it was not at all a component in the ending of said relationship. In fact, I enjoyed that we could trust each other and have conversations with nuance about the topic.

            The lady I’m crushin’ on right now has had to move away for going back to school so we’re keeping it friends until she comes back in the summer and even then it’ll need to be casual since she’s gotta go back after. In this case I’m not concerned with what is her business and she’s not concerned with what is my business, we just like each other and that’s that.

            Regardless, I don’t need to be actively in a relationship to call out your nonsense and you’re dodging the question. C’mon, bud, do better.

            • hesusingthespiritbomb@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              A lot of words to say that you’re not in a committed relationship.

              This is basic relationship stuff. Also if you’re in a longer term relationship, bailing for the sole purpose of fucking around is beyond shitty. manipulating your partner so you can fuck around while still having their emotional support is even worse.

              All of this is very well understood when a man is shitty to a women. Yet when the reverse is true there’s a million different excuses that pour out of the woodwork.

              I’ve never seen a successful open relationship. It always ends poorly, it always comes out that the man felt pressured, and it always comes out that part of the reason they let themselves suffer for this long is because everyone else acted like this was normal. The only time I’ve ever “met” someone in a successful open relationship is online, where there’s absolutely no context.

              • optissima
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                2 months ago

                A lot of words to say that you’re not in a committed relationship.

                Lol this is toxic masculinity, do some research.

                • hesusingthespiritbomb@lemmy.world
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                  2 months ago

                  It is in no way shape or form toxic masculinity to want to be in a monogamous relationship. It is also not toxic masculinity to expect your partner won’t bail to screw other dudes, or think that your partner pushing for an “ethical” non monogamous relationship after years of monogamy is anything but ethnical.

                  We wouldn’t even be having this conversation if genders were flipped. You’re basically attempting to weaponize feminism to justify the mistreatment of men.

                  • optissima
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                    2 months ago

                    Feminism applies to both genders, how would switching genders change anything?

              • Soup@lemmy.world
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                2 months ago

                And yet I’ve seen plenty of successful ones. Not everyone’s needs and desires align and you’re just going to have to get ovee that. You’re also whining about being pressured while actively trying to imply that people who want an open relationship should shut up and stick with monogamy. We call that “being a hypocrit”.

                But I doubt you give a shit.

                • hesusingthespiritbomb@lemmy.world
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                  2 months ago

                  Again, not pressured. Seen other guys pressured, and seen them suffer.

                  I’ve seen people claim open relationships are working in exactly two scenarios:

                  • A few months before the relationship irreparably falls apart, in a way that clearly feels forced.
                  • On the internet, where there is absolutely zero context.
                  • Soup@lemmy.world
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                    2 months ago

                    You’re really dodging my entire point here. You’re trying to use generic, anecdotal “evidence” to tell individuals that they shouldn’t expect something and should just do it your way.

                    And I’ve seen plenty of my actual friends go into them being clear about it from the start, communicating fully, and everyone party to it also knowing that a relationship ending naturally is not “falling apart”.

                    Yes, monogamy is simple and doesn’t require near the same levels of trust and communication(though it fuckin’ should). As a general statement we’re all pretty emotionally stunted and people trying something like that out without the skills to pay the bills are going to have a bad time. On an individual level there are absolutely people who can, and do, handle it really well. All the people I know who participate in open relationships are very emotionally intelligent, honest, and understanding people so it’s no small wonder that they can hack it where others struggle.

                    No one is asking you to be in an open relationship and it’s totally valid to not want to be in one. You can be all those nice things I mentioned and still prefer monogamy, too.

    • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Someone got cucked and is bitter about it 😂

      What a colossally callous and heartless thing to say.

      Being cheated on is a horrendous betrayal. “Bitter” is the least on the list of absolutely justified emotions to feel in response to that.

    • TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      Flip the roles here

      “Someone got cheated on and is bitter about it”

      Makes it more clear how much of a prick you’re being