• LillyPip@lemmy.ca
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    8 months ago

    Dude, yeah. It’s so weird.

    I refused circumcision for my son (25 years ago, US hospital), and had to remind the staff several times because it was just assumed it would be done. I stopped them 3 times during different shifts when they were about to take him from our room for the procedure.

    Then when it came up in conversation when he was an infant, people would say to me ‘you should have done it’, because he would get infections (he never did), or he’d be bullied in gym showers (he never did to my knowledge), or whatever. My take was it should be his decision, not mine.

    The pressure was really intense, though. It’s weird how interested people can be in someone else’s infant’s penis. We’ve never talked about it, but reading stories from other men, I assume he’s happy being uncut, and I’m glad I didn’t do it.

    e: for anyone reading this days later, I did ask my son for his opinion prompted by this conversation, mostly because of responses I got elsewhere in this thread that made me question my decision:

    Me: Hey man, so feel free not to answer this if it’s too personal, but I was having a debate about circumcision and another parent challenged me saying I’d made the wrong decision. So yes/no/I don’t want to talk about it cuz that’s weird, do you regret my decision?

    Son: I don’t, and none of my partners have, either. I only get thumbs up and compliments. I hope that wasn’t too personal.

    Me: Not at all. Thank you for giving me your and your partners’ review!

    So yeah, it’s not just my assumptions. And no regrets.

    • Emerald@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      he’d be bullied in gym showers

      what? why would people be seeing your kids genitals in a gym shower? That makes no sense

      • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Have you never been in a highschool where using the gym showers was normal?

        Edit: shorts to showers because autocorrect has become dogshit

        • Emerald@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          I’m assuming you mean gym showers and not gym shorts. I still don’t get why someone would see someone elses penis in a gym shower. Unless they peeked into the stall or somathing, but that would be sexual harrassment.

              • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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                8 months ago

                My middle school gym locker room had completely open showers. Like the kind you see in prison scenes on TV. No dividers. No curtains. Just an open room with a bunch of shower heads

                  • el_abuelo@lemmy.ml
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                    8 months ago

                    Bit of an overreaction. Same-sex facility sharing has been a staple part of human society for thousands of years. We seem to have done okay so I’m not too worried or “horrified”. I guess it’s just not something you’ve come across so it seems unusual to you.

              • el_abuelo@lemmy.ml
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                8 months ago

                Depends I guess. They’re cheaper to do the open style so in poor schools and sports facilities you tend to get them.

                If you’ve been fortunate enough to go to decent schools and not played sports outside of well funded institutions then you probably wouldn’t have come across them.

                • LillyPip@lemmy.ca
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                  8 months ago

                  Not just in poor schools. My area is pretty affluent, but the school was built in the 1940s, and that’s just how it was back then. I went to that high school for a year (I’m 54) and never saw the boys’, but the girls’ was wide open. I assume the boys’ was too.

    • Boldizzle@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Where the hell did this infections BS come from? I’ve got mine and have never had any infections or am I just really lucky?

    • Serinus@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      My take was it should be his decision, not mine.

      It’s not though. They’ll never be able to go back and have it done as an infant. Time machines don’t exist.

      The procedure is much, much easier as an infant than it is as a boy or teenager or adult.

      I respect whatever decision you made. There are reasons for both. But no, he didn’t have the option to go back and have it done easily.

      And sorry about the pressure. You shouldn’t have to go through that, and I hope/expect that aspect is better after 25 years.

      • LillyPip@lemmy.ca
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        8 months ago

        It is. You can always cut something off later, but you can’t just put it back once it’s gone.

        Based on this conversation, I actually asked him:

        Me: Hey man, so feel free not to answer this if it’s too personal, but I was having a debate about circumcision and another parent challenged me saying I’d made the wrong decision. So yes/no/I don’t want to talk about it cuz that’s weird, do you regret my decision?

        Son: I don’t, and none of my partners have, either. I only get thumbs up and compliments. I hope that wasn’t too personal.

        Me: Not at all. Thank you for giving me your and your partners’ review!

        So yeah, no regrets.