That’s true, but it’s basic human nature. Given two candidates who are both qualified but have different strengths, most likely the hiring manager will pick the person that seems easier to work with. This won’t always be the person who’s bubblier, but will usually be the person who’s more engaged during the interview. It’s not just about what someone’s like on paper, it’s also about being able to create enough of an impression with whoever’s hiring them that they’re memorable in a positive way.

This isn’t malicious, it’s just how almost everyone works. It, of course, also presents challenges for people who are neurodivergent. There’s no easy solution here, telling the hiring manager they’re neurodivergent is a mixed bag.

Part of why the interpersonal part matters is because most every person who has hired someone has been burned by someone who seemed fine on paper, so they gave the new hire a shot despite some flags during the interview. It’s happened to me, it sucks and feels shitty. When that happens, if they’re competent, the manager starts going for people who seem more engaged during the interview (as opposed to super eager, which can be a red flag).

Lastly, hiring people is a skill. Some people are good at it, I am not. At least I learned very quickly that I should let others handle it, which I hope prevented future mismatches between the candidate and the job.