In case you might be interested, a great way to test this is by determining whether there is any story (fiction or non-fiction), or music, or visual art if you’re so inclined that you might find significantly moving. The more engrossing / epic / awe-inspiring it is for you, the better. (Returning to material from childhood can work for some. Horror movies might not do it for those who have built up a resistance, but could be effective for others, etc., etc.)
There is some very moving art for me, and i do feel like i supress things at least a little sometimes (like if a song or movie is really hitting i might tear up but not start crying), and like thinking about certain things makes me very sad (a handful of memories, thinking about all the injustice and suffering in the world) and i’ve cried about those before. Or like sometimes the actual feeling of care towards others will swell in me if i think about it enough. But that doesn’t really say whether on average i experience emotions as strongly as normal or if i’m suppressing them. I know i suppress them at least a little sometimes (other times i’ve definitely let them loose) but it doesn’t feel like that much so it’s hard to know whether it is a lot of suppression or just having less strong emotions
When you can’t tell if you just tend to not experience emotions very strongly (i.e. alexythmia) or have learned to supress them 😎
For me it is suppression as part of my PTSD from my shitty life until I was about 24.
Nothing quite like being taught that emotions are a weakness to exploit to really fuck with your head.
I’m working through it but it’s going to take a long time.
Everybody has their own journey but I will say the latter is far more common.
In case you might be interested, a great way to test this is by determining whether there is any story (fiction or non-fiction), or music, or visual art if you’re so inclined that you might find significantly moving. The more engrossing / epic / awe-inspiring it is for you, the better. (Returning to material from childhood can work for some. Horror movies might not do it for those who have built up a resistance, but could be effective for others, etc., etc.)
There is some very moving art for me, and i do feel like i supress things at least a little sometimes (like if a song or movie is really hitting i might tear up but not start crying), and like thinking about certain things makes me very sad (a handful of memories, thinking about all the injustice and suffering in the world) and i’ve cried about those before. Or like sometimes the actual feeling of care towards others will swell in me if i think about it enough. But that doesn’t really say whether on average i experience emotions as strongly as normal or if i’m suppressing them. I know i suppress them at least a little sometimes (other times i’ve definitely let them loose) but it doesn’t feel like that much so it’s hard to know whether it is a lot of suppression or just having less strong emotions