It’s not that I can’t. The problem is that when I’m with someone, I deeply yearn to be alone. I’d love to have my life for myself, with no responsibility with no one else - just me.

But then, when I’m alone, I feel like a failure, like I need a relationship to feel complete, and I fucking hate that. So I end up in another relationship, and after two years I can’t stand it anymore, and the cycle repeats.

What the hell. Has anyone suffered from something like that? How can you be alone and not feel lonely? How to kill this need to be with someone?

EDIT: Thanks for all the answers, I’m taking every single one into consideration. Please, keep them coming.

  • Trollivier@sh.itjust.works
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    7 months ago

    Gotta find someone with whom you can be alone with.

    Meaning you can be alone with this person. And that you can be alone with yourself in their presence as well. Someone who can respect your alone time, basically.

    Otherwise, when single, you gotta learn to take care of yourself as if yourself was someone else. That’s how I coped when I was single. Treating myself all the time to little gifts, taking care of myself, even going out with myself by myself like a date night.

    “6:30, dinner with myself. I can’t cancel that again!” -The Grinch