We didn’t grow up in the US, so we don’t really know much about the gifted programs. She has scored 99 in CogAT, and 96.5 in ITBS, so she qualifies to the HAG program in NC. We can either switch to a different school that has the HAG curriculum, or keep her in the current school under the next lower level curriculum (AIG). The school says their AIG program is excellent, and that many HAG students have opted to stay in the school’s AIG program.
I want to do what is best for her social, emotional, and academic growth, so please share your experience/horror stories/success stories with the gifted programs, and your advice on which one to choose.
She’s an only child and a bit naive, if that matters.
I was identified as “gifted” in elementary school and was offered to participate in the 4th/5th grade split class. It was an accelerated program where we got to do all kinds of interesting science experiments, read harder and more interesting books, and learn math at a much faster pace than the other classes. I really loved it. The math was super interesting and all my friends were there. If your kiddo is interested in the class and gets along with the other students, I think she’ll do great.
As stated in other answers, the curriculum is significantly less important than your parental involvement. Ask her often what SHE likes most about the program (writing, math, the humanities) and listen, then encourage extracurriculars that conform to those interests.
What I DON’T see mentioned in the comments, though, is the fact that a “gifted” student is a “special needs” student. If your little kiddo is constantly around people that tell her she’s “smart” and “full of potential”, (statements that are undoubtedly true given your circumstances) her expectations of herself will be much higher than those of her “non-gifted” peers. Fulfilling these expectations will take a long time through school, college, and career. In this time, the assurances of her intelligence will seem to ring hollow as the inevitabilities of life take their toll on her development. Even more important than fostering her intellect is fostering her patience with herself. Your kiddo has to understand that it’s okay and natural to fail; and that smart people fail A LOT. “Gifted” students that never learned this lesson tend to burnout pretty early in life.
Anyway, thats enough from me. You’re on the right track in my opinion. Everyone else’s comments have been spot on and I wish I would’ve read this forum post when I was 11.
All the best to you and your kiddo
Hi from North Carolina. I was a gifted program kid (now and adult) in this glorious state and have had plenty of encounters with children since who are in the program. I even went to the North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics. Go for it with the more rigorous academics BUT the thing you’ll need to enrich in the home environment is those social and emotional lessons. They are getting deprioritized in favor of academics and in order to succeed in the world, the ability to people is actually more valuable than the ability to scholar. But if she isn’t challenged in the classroom, instead of learning how to people, she’ll learn how to be in trouble due to very appropriately suppressing her frustration and boredom as much as her age can possibly do … which isn’t enough.
Also, if she’s any kind of mentally healthy, don’t send her to NCSSM, no matter how much she begs. That’s where people go to have massive mental health issues. The only people who did better at that school, and I am one of them, were people whose home lives were so challenging and unstable that the school was actually an upgrade. Any alumnus - except the ones specifically chosen by the recruiting office, of course - will tell you the same.
Thank you for the perspective. We’ve gone ahead and enrolled her in the HAG school, but I’m still concerned about her social skills, because apparently she’s only gonna interact with the same 10 15 kids every year. Hopefully she comes out in top socially as well as academically.
There is something to be said about a small and consistent set of equally intelligent classmates from which to form bonds. I certainly did. It makes one not the weirdo because everyone there is HAG. Then, when out in gen pop and someone treats a HAG kid as The Weirdo, the response isn’t to internalize it with a, “Yeah, I’m the weirdo. No one ever wants to play with me,” but instead with a, “What’s his problem?!” So that’s actually good.
I was thinking more on the emotional side. Learning how to handle big feelings and small feelings. HAG kids tend to - and here I’m speaking from my former high school teacher career which I’ve long ago left - intellectualize the especially small feelings into nonexistence. It requires explicit instruction to just be taught how to feel. Not as an action item. Just as an experience.
That makes total sense and gives me peace, thank you! Do you have any resources on how to handle the emotional side properly that I could learn from?
If you ignore that the intended audience of the book is a parent of an ADHD child, “Why Will No One Play With Me” (book) is a fabulous step-by-step primer that covers all the social and emotional skills one needs to succeed in the world as well as talks the reader (parent) through how to impart those lessons to a child who is good at analytical thinking. I wish there were a book written more broadly that is this good at preparing parents with more than just platitudes and broad goals.
I’ll check this out, thank you for the recommendation!