The concept of a fast food chili dog has been baffling me for the last few days. Are there really people that roll up to Sonic, order a chili dog and just slurp that thing down while driving back to their desk job? Do these psychopaths just keep a change of clothes in their car at all times, or do they wake up and think, “Oh boy, it’s Chili Dog Tuesday! Better wear my waders today!”? A proper chili dog should be eaten with a fork and knife. They only chili dog that should be eaten by hand is one with far too few toppings. That little fucker should look like an overflowing pig trough as soon as it’s served, just dripping with chili cheese goodness. There’s no way you’re eating that in the car unless your dress code includes chili, cheese and onions.

On another note, why do we have cheeseburger sliders but not hot dog sliders?