This is a bad post. Polyamory is NOT about sex and it’s NOT a fetish.
It can work extremely well and be extremely loving if done correctly. The problem is, it’s not as easy as people often think it is when trying to idealize it.
Communication is extremely important in every relationship and that only multiplies when you have more than one partner.
If you have a feeling of jealousy… Talk about it…
If you don’t think your partner is spending enough time with you… Talk about it…
If you aren’t enjoying sex with your partner… TALK ABOUT IT!
I’ve been with my fiancé for almost 4 years, my bf and I are celebrating our 1 year next month, and I have a new first date next Wednesday. My fiancé has even been with their nesting partner (who is monogamous) for 8 years now.
This all happened because we have clear ground rules and boundaries as well as active communication.
I’ve never felt more loved than when my fiancé helped me pick out my outfit for my first date with my bf.
I love them both so tremendously and it pisses me off when people tell me that isn’t possible or that all I care about is sex.
Well they have is all I can say. Two of them ended particularly badly when the person in them who encouraged the poly relationship up and left the person they invited to be poly. My one friend ended up suddenly homeless when her poly couple threw her out after she had moved across country to be with them, and another who had been encouraged by his wife to practice being poly ended up having said wife vacate the premises while he was away for a weekend and empty their bank account and change her number and vanish. Like it was pretty bad.
Right, but you surely have also seen many monogamous relationships also end badly.
Both of those examples could easily have happened with monogamy.
I could rattle off a bunch of poly relationships that have gone well. I know some folks that are raising a kid. They both have other partners. They’re all pretty happy. Been so for years
Another couple has also been together for years. The one of them has had other relationships for years while the other focused on her career. For the last year or two she’s got more time and is exploring dating. She’s having a blast. They’re all very happy.
There’s a friend I’ve known for years that’s done poly the whole time. He’s had some breakups over the years, but that’s just normal relationship stuff. None of them were to my knowledge catastrophic.
I can also rattle off monogamous relationships that went badly.
It’s absurd to be like “monogamous relationships sometimes end badly. Poly relationships sometimes end badly. The poly ones are due to poly.”
As with any relationship, you can either decide it’s not worth it to keep bringing up… Or if it matters a lot to you, you can break up.
Sometimes, even with a lot of communication, the relationship just doesn’t work. Not everyone is meant to be. Sometimes your needs are very different from your partner(s) needs and separation is the best way to make you both happier in the long run.
This is a bad post. Polyamory is NOT about sex and it’s NOT a fetish.
It can work extremely well and be extremely loving if done correctly. The problem is, it’s not as easy as people often think it is when trying to idealize it.
Communication is extremely important in every relationship and that only multiplies when you have more than one partner.
If you have a feeling of jealousy… Talk about it…
If you don’t think your partner is spending enough time with you… Talk about it…
If you aren’t enjoying sex with your partner… TALK ABOUT IT!
I’ve been with my fiancé for almost 4 years, my bf and I are celebrating our 1 year next month, and I have a new first date next Wednesday. My fiancé has even been with their nesting partner (who is monogamous) for 8 years now.
This all happened because we have clear ground rules and boundaries as well as active communication.
I’ve never felt more loved than when my fiancé helped me pick out my outfit for my first date with my bf.
I love them both so tremendously and it pisses me off when people tell me that isn’t possible or that all I care about is sex.
I posed it as a question for a reason. I can say every poly relationship I have known has ended in flames, but I’m open to all opinions.
But there is no question some people should just get divorced.
I strongly dislike this trope. Most monogamous relationships also end badly. Relationships are hard.
Well they have is all I can say. Two of them ended particularly badly when the person in them who encouraged the poly relationship up and left the person they invited to be poly. My one friend ended up suddenly homeless when her poly couple threw her out after she had moved across country to be with them, and another who had been encouraged by his wife to practice being poly ended up having said wife vacate the premises while he was away for a weekend and empty their bank account and change her number and vanish. Like it was pretty bad.
Right, but you surely have also seen many monogamous relationships also end badly.
Both of those examples could easily have happened with monogamy.
I could rattle off a bunch of poly relationships that have gone well. I know some folks that are raising a kid. They both have other partners. They’re all pretty happy. Been so for years
Another couple has also been together for years. The one of them has had other relationships for years while the other focused on her career. For the last year or two she’s got more time and is exploring dating. She’s having a blast. They’re all very happy.
There’s a friend I’ve known for years that’s done poly the whole time. He’s had some breakups over the years, but that’s just normal relationship stuff. None of them were to my knowledge catastrophic.
I can also rattle off monogamous relationships that went badly.
It’s absurd to be like “monogamous relationships sometimes end badly. Poly relationships sometimes end badly. The poly ones are due to poly.”
What if I wanna talk and they don’t?
As with any relationship, you can either decide it’s not worth it to keep bringing up… Or if it matters a lot to you, you can break up.
Sometimes, even with a lot of communication, the relationship just doesn’t work. Not everyone is meant to be. Sometimes your needs are very different from your partner(s) needs and separation is the best way to make you both happier in the long run.