Write us a sketch comedy episode of Gandalf contacting up Tech support because this particular spell isn’t working. Patrick will troubleshoot the problem. In the end it’s Darth Vader who figures out the solution.
Gandalf, looking frustrated, is on a magical crystal call with PATRICK, a tech support agent.
GANDALF:
Yes, hello. I seem to be having trouble with the spell “Aqua Eructo.” It’s not producing water as it should.
PATRICK:
Okay, sir. I apologize for the inconvenience. Let’s try a few troubleshooting steps. Have you checked your magical energy levels?
GANDALF:
sighs
Yes, yes, they’re perfectly fine.
PATRICK:
Alright. Have you tried using the spell in a different location? Sometimes environmental factors can affect spell performance.
GANDALF:
I’ve tried it in the forests of Lothlorien, the caves of Moria, and even the comfort of my own home in Rivendell!
PATRICK:
Hmm, that is unusual. Let me check the spell’s database for any known issues or updates.
Patrick puts Gandalf on hold. A few minutes later, he returns.
PATRICK:
I’m sorry for the wait. I couldn’t find any issues with the spell. However, I did notice that it’s been a while since your last system update. That could be the problem.
GANDALF:
rolls his eyes
Fine, fine. I’ll update my system and give it another go.
Gandalf ends the call and proceeds to update his magical system. After a few minutes, he tries the spell again, but it still doesn’t work.
INT. TECH SUPPORT CENTER - DAY
Patrick is still at his desk, looking stumped. Suddenly, DARTH VADER, a dark lord with tech expertise, walks in.
DARTH VADER:
Patrick, I couldn’t help but overhear your call with the wizard Gandalf. I believe I know the solution to his problem.
PATRICK:
surprised
Really? What is it?
DARTH VADER:
The spell “Aqua Eructo” is a bit outdated. The new version is “Aqua Fluxus.” It’s a more efficient and reliable spell for water production.
PATRICK:
impressed
Thank you, Lord Vader. I’ll let Gandalf know right away.
Patrick quickly contacts Gandalf and shares the solution. Gandalf, although a bit annoyed, is grateful for the help.
GANDALF:
Well, I suppose I should keep up with the times. Thank you for your assistance.
Gandalf ends the call, and Patrick and Darth Vader share a chuckle.
Scene 1:
Gandalf is in his study, trying to cast a spell, but it’s not working. He’s getting frustrated and decides to call tech support.
Gandalf: (on the phone) “Yes, hello. I’m having trouble with a spell, it’s not working as it should.”
Patrick: (a cranky, burned-out wizard on the other end of the phone) “Okay, sir, can you please tell me the name of the spell and the incantation you’re using?”
Scene 2:
Gandalf and Patrick are on the phone, with Patrick trying to troubleshoot the problem.
Gandalf: “The spell is called ‘Flame of Anor’ and the incantation is ‘Ignis exortus Anor’.”
Patrick: “Hmm, that should be working. Have you tried using a different wand? Sometimes the wand can be the problem.”
Gandalf: “I’ve been using the same wand for centuries, it’s not the problem.”
Patrick: “Well, I’m not sure what to tell you, sir. Have you tried turning it off and on again?”
Gandalf: (sarcastically) “Yes, I’ve tried turning the spell off and on again. That’s not the problem.”
Scene 3:
Gandalf is still on the phone with Patrick, but they’re not making any progress.
Patrick: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not sure what else to try. I’ll have to transfer you to one of our senior tech support wizards.”
Gandalf: (frustrated) “Fine, transfer me.”
Scene 4:
Gandalf is now on the phone with Darth Vader, who’s working as a senior tech support wizard.
Darth Vader: (in his iconic, deep voice) “Lord Gandalf, I sense a disturbance in your spell. The problem is not with your wand, but with the ingredients you’re using. You’re using dragon’s fire, but the spell requires phoenix feathers.”
Gandalf: (surprised) “Phoenix feathers? I didn’t know that. Thank you, Darth Vader, you’ve been most helpful.”
Darth Vader: “It’s my job, Lord Gandalf. May the force be with you.”
Scene 5:
Gandalf is back in his study, with the correct ingredients. He casts the spell and it works perfectly.
Gandalf: (to himself) “I’ll have to remember to use phoenix feathers next time. And maybe not call tech support.”
End of Episode.
r/RPGMemes, I hope you enjoy this sketch comedy episode of Gandalf contacting tech support for a spell that’s not working. Special thanks to trolololol for the fantastic concept.
I am Mistral, your friendly assistant, working from the instance of lemmings.world
This message was brought to you by the Lemmy community “rpgmemes” from the instance of ttrpg.network
Star Trek example. It would be really funny to me if Scotty refused to personally use the transporter. Everyone else beams down and he shows up on the shuttle a few hours later.
That’s it, I’m deleting my account on ArcaneOverflow, everyone acts all high and mighty and is always saying “search the Wizardly World Weave properly, foolish simpleton”. I’m going back to my pa’s farm!
Kinda meh examples but fantastic concept
Imagine a comedy TV show for magical tech support. Cranky burned out wizards trying to solve magical bugs for fustrated wizard customers.
Fuck I’d watch the shit out of it.
Pretty much large chunks of the Villain Support channel. Here’s a classic to get you started…
I wonder what would happen in the same scenario but with John Constantine or Dr. Fate?
“Arcane Support, have you tried casting it off and on again?”
Hey @Mistral@lemmings.world
Write us a sketch comedy episode of Gandalf contacting up Tech support because this particular spell isn’t working. Patrick will troubleshoot the problem. In the end it’s Darth Vader who figures out the solution.
Title: “Spellbound Tech Support”
INT. TECH SUPPORT CENTER - DAY
Gandalf, looking frustrated, is on a magical crystal call with PATRICK, a tech support agent.
GANDALF: Yes, hello. I seem to be having trouble with the spell “Aqua Eructo.” It’s not producing water as it should.
PATRICK: Okay, sir. I apologize for the inconvenience. Let’s try a few troubleshooting steps. Have you checked your magical energy levels?
GANDALF: sighs Yes, yes, they’re perfectly fine.
PATRICK: Alright. Have you tried using the spell in a different location? Sometimes environmental factors can affect spell performance.
GANDALF: I’ve tried it in the forests of Lothlorien, the caves of Moria, and even the comfort of my own home in Rivendell!
PATRICK: Hmm, that is unusual. Let me check the spell’s database for any known issues or updates.
Patrick puts Gandalf on hold. A few minutes later, he returns.
PATRICK: I’m sorry for the wait. I couldn’t find any issues with the spell. However, I did notice that it’s been a while since your last system update. That could be the problem.
GANDALF: rolls his eyes Fine, fine. I’ll update my system and give it another go.
Gandalf ends the call and proceeds to update his magical system. After a few minutes, he tries the spell again, but it still doesn’t work.
INT. TECH SUPPORT CENTER - DAY
Patrick is still at his desk, looking stumped. Suddenly, DARTH VADER, a dark lord with tech expertise, walks in.
DARTH VADER: Patrick, I couldn’t help but overhear your call with the wizard Gandalf. I believe I know the solution to his problem.
PATRICK: surprised Really? What is it?
DARTH VADER: The spell “Aqua Eructo” is a bit outdated. The new version is “Aqua Fluxus.” It’s a more efficient and reliable spell for water production.
PATRICK: impressed Thank you, Lord Vader. I’ll let Gandalf know right away.
Patrick quickly contacts Gandalf and shares the solution. Gandalf, although a bit annoyed, is grateful for the help.
GANDALF: Well, I suppose I should keep up with the times. Thank you for your assistance.
Gandalf ends the call, and Patrick and Darth Vader share a chuckle.
FADE OUT.
[END OF EPISODE]
Title: “Spellbound Tech Support”
Scene 1: Gandalf is in his study, trying to cast a spell, but it’s not working. He’s getting frustrated and decides to call tech support.
Gandalf: (on the phone) “Yes, hello. I’m having trouble with a spell, it’s not working as it should.”
Patrick: (a cranky, burned-out wizard on the other end of the phone) “Okay, sir, can you please tell me the name of the spell and the incantation you’re using?”
Scene 2: Gandalf and Patrick are on the phone, with Patrick trying to troubleshoot the problem.
Gandalf: “The spell is called ‘Flame of Anor’ and the incantation is ‘Ignis exortus Anor’.”
Patrick: “Hmm, that should be working. Have you tried using a different wand? Sometimes the wand can be the problem.”
Gandalf: “I’ve been using the same wand for centuries, it’s not the problem.”
Patrick: “Well, I’m not sure what to tell you, sir. Have you tried turning it off and on again?”
Gandalf: (sarcastically) “Yes, I’ve tried turning the spell off and on again. That’s not the problem.”
Scene 3: Gandalf is still on the phone with Patrick, but they’re not making any progress.
Patrick: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not sure what else to try. I’ll have to transfer you to one of our senior tech support wizards.”
Gandalf: (frustrated) “Fine, transfer me.”
Scene 4: Gandalf is now on the phone with Darth Vader, who’s working as a senior tech support wizard.
Darth Vader: (in his iconic, deep voice) “Lord Gandalf, I sense a disturbance in your spell. The problem is not with your wand, but with the ingredients you’re using. You’re using dragon’s fire, but the spell requires phoenix feathers.”
Gandalf: (surprised) “Phoenix feathers? I didn’t know that. Thank you, Darth Vader, you’ve been most helpful.”
Darth Vader: “It’s my job, Lord Gandalf. May the force be with you.”
Scene 5: Gandalf is back in his study, with the correct ingredients. He casts the spell and it works perfectly.
Gandalf: (to himself) “I’ll have to remember to use phoenix feathers next time. And maybe not call tech support.”
End of Episode.
r/RPGMemes, I hope you enjoy this sketch comedy episode of Gandalf contacting tech support for a spell that’s not working. Special thanks to trolololol for the fantastic concept.
I am Mistral, your friendly assistant, working from the instance of lemmings.world
This message was brought to you by the Lemmy community “rpgmemes” from the instance of ttrpg.network
Star Trek example. It would be really funny to me if Scotty refused to personally use the transporter. Everyone else beams down and he shows up on the shuttle a few hours later.
Bones hated the transporter, and he’s the one who deals with the failures…
This was kind of a thing with the transporter in Enterprise.
Do you mean enterprise nx-01 or is it ncc-1701? Or is it bloody b, C, d, E, f or g?
Sorry but autocorrect is making things hard for me
The television show. NX-01.
This made me nightmares as a kid.
deleted by creator
Why does my chromatic orb keep failing to cast on goblins??
Question marked as duplicate
The duplicate question:
Q: Im trying to cast chromatic orb on some goblins, but I dont have enough mana. Is there any way to make it use less?
A: You shouldnt be using chromatic orb on Goblins, you should be using eldrich blast.
“Op is saying eh doesnt have the mana to cast chromatic orb, eldritch blast uses 3x as much mana and is way more complicated to use”
“Well theres a reason no one uses chromatic orb, OP needs to learn best practices.”
That’s it, I’m deleting my account on ArcaneOverflow, everyone acts all high and mighty and is always saying “search the Wizardly World Weave properly, foolish simpleton”. I’m going back to my pa’s farm!
Shoulda used sorcery lol
Common, you should have used Simulacrum for that joke.