• Lvxferre@mander.xyz
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    4 months ago

    That’s an interesting take! After thinking a bit more on it, I think that it’s going both ways, depending on utterance:

    • the speaker into the hearer’s group (“how are we going today?”), for fake camaraderie;
    • the hearer into the speaker’s group (“we don’t do that”), to manipulate the hearer’s behaviour

    The later would work as you described, but the former also exerts some pressure - because rejecting someone from your group is a face-threatening act for both sides (i.e. “you’re not one of us” is shitty to say for the hearer but also for the speaker themself).

    • theneverfox@pawb.social
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      4 months ago

      Ah, I see what you were getting at now. Like “where are we going tonight?”, it’s a mirroring of the same concept, I think it’s fair to call that forced inclusion. Like you say, directly excluding someone is rude, so forcing that choice is pretty manipulative