This is not a conversation about guns. This is a conversation about items that have withstood abuse that are near unbreakable.
Some items I have heard referenced as AK47 of:
Gerber MP600: It’s a multi tool
Old Thinkpad Laptops
Mag lights
Toyota Hilux
If you want pseudo espresso grab a moka pot. You can snag them for like $20-50 and they make a good strong espresso style brew on your stove.