Okay this is gonna probably make absolutely zero sense, but I’m gonna try and explain:
(This might cause some brain damage and you might lose a few braincells from reading this)
For context, most of my family are US Citizens, we were all born in China.
My mom (and my dad, somewhat) is just so big on “Tough on crime”, whenever there were alleged lootings during protests, my parents would be okay with them getting shot to death. Constantly blame “Democrats” for crime and the “migrant crisis”. Also love their Wechat and constantly play (Chinese) nationalistic songs and other propaganda on the fucking speaker. Also, if you are dealing with severe depression, and temporarily can’t work, they call you a “廢柴”, basically the cantonese term equivalent of the term “useless eater”.
My brother is into some crazy conspiracy theory that the Chinese Government is in a conspiracy to replace Han Chinese with, not only Chinese ethnic minorities, but African Migrants (like wtf dude), basically the equivalent of the “white replacement conspiracy theory” but in China instead (yea it sounds insane, doesn’t it? Like… buddy, China doesn’t even give permanent residency to foreigners, what the fuck is this insane conspiracy theory? Also, he’s a US Citizen, why the fuck does he care?). Simultaneously, he opposes racism from white people in the US (… some crazy hypocrisy, isn’t it? 🤨).
Tell me this isn’t just me with the most insane family in the world.
The men that they raised, myself included, were raised up around sociopathic women as the default, and so they are never given the coping skills they need to treat women like normal human beings.
It takes 20 years of being separated from the family and surrounded by kind and loving women to fix that fundamental flaw.
For instance, my grandmother was afraid that my cousin was gay.
Why she was afraid of that, I don’t know.
My aunt, his mother, was a diagnosed schizophrenic and crack addict lesbian, and I would not mention her sexuality if it weren’t for the fact that my aunt’s girlfriend / significant other hated men and used to physically assault him when he was a small child.
She would squish his testicles as punishments for anything she could possibly think of, so the fact there is a possibility that the constant childhood physical and sexual emotional assault by other women might have caused him to have issues with women so my grandmother, in order to address that when my cousin was 13, convinced one of her co-workers to sleep with my 13-year-old cousin while my grandmother watched.
She thought this was a good and healthy thing to expose him to.
She would rather personally observe a 13-year-old boy being forced to fuck a 40-year-old woman against his will than to have the possibility exist that he grow up to be a sexually well-adjusted gay man.
I guess, in her eyes, it was bad enough that we already had a brownie in the family, (me, a native American), throwing a gay into the mix was just way too much.
My uncle has no children of his own because the woman he married cheated on him multiple times and got pregnant with multiple other men’s children and he never divorced her he never walked away he just assumed and has lived his entire life accepting and expecting the women that he loves and care about to cheat on him with other men and to never give him a child.
My brother got away from the family by joining the military which gave him structure and joining the church which gave him support and encouragement and he married a pretty decent woman who unfortunately is not psychologically equipped to comprehend the machinations of a cabal of sociopathic women, so she has no idea why she doesn’t like my mother or my sister and why she cannot get along with them.
So yeah, I understand what it means to grow up in a crazy family. Not a cult, not a bunch of racist although my grandmother and grandfather were so racist that since my mother had the audacity to marry outside of her race and have me, a native American brown child, they reduced it to microaggressions like my grandfather never allowed me to enter into the main floor of his house. He told my mom it was because he was afraid I would steal from him but he let my older brother and younger sister who were blonde haired and blue-eyed white kids wander around freely.
He once relayed the story about how he got invited to a KKK meeting and he thought they were a bunch of swell guys and possibly misunderstood, and him being a child who was born on millionaires row in New York in the 1930s, I looked up his address from the census at that time and the house that he grew up and doesn’t exist anymore but the street that he grew up on the least expensive house available as of right now is 18 million dollars.
My mom has childhood memories of going to their house in New York and like the fucking Addams family having rooms where there were just filled with gold coins and jewelry and she would be allowed to take a piece home with her from time to time.
But, he was a greedy stingy bastard who wouldn’t work to save his life. Mom has fond memories of Christmases being things like them getting cans of vegetables out of the pantry because my grandmother and my grandfather forgot to buy them Christmas gifts but they of course bought themselves Christmas gifts like mink stoles and new cars and fun vacations that they took without the kids, leaving them to fend for themselves.
My mother is racist also, but she’s that like woke racist, the kind that believes that they’re not racist but then also assumes that any time they have to work with people of color that the people of color are “ganging up on her” when there is a disagreement, so much so that she quits several good profitable nursing jobs where she was the boss of people of color because of her own mental conception that her subordinates were against her.
Now that I think about it there is a chance that they were against her once they all realized that she was racist, idk.
The kind of person who say they don’t hate black people but won’t vote for a black president. She thinks that because she dated and married and a native American and gave birth to a native American child that exempts her from racism just like trashy white girls do when they date black guys and thinks that gives them the n-word card.
Okay. Sorry for rambling so much just apparently I had a lot on my plate and it’s a new year and it’s time to leave the past in the past so thank you for perusing my trauma dump.
I hope your next year is as much better than the last year as it possibly can be.
And always remember, no matter how fucked up your family is, when you become an adult you have the right to leave them in the past where they belong.
Damn man.
That part about grandma getting the coworker was insane.
My grandma kept playboy magazines in the bathroom because “boys are gonna see it anyway. Might as well be here where they can ask about it.” And so they “wouldn’t be queer.”
She was nuts, but not that nuts I don’t think.
She shot a man in the back and got away with and I still think she had more marbles than your grandma haha.
Holee fuck.