##Overview I have not cut my hair since 2018. I went to a stylist maybe 3 years ago to get my hair thinned but otherwise it’s been just growing freely for many years. I’ve never had hair like this prior to now and any advice on treatment for it so it can be healthier would be appreciated.
It’s incredibly thick. When it’s in a pony tail, at the base of my skull it is probably about 1"—1¼" diameter. I’ve never really been able to freely run my fingers or a straight comb through my hair, as it gets caught on random kinks or tangles along the way. I use a soft bristle wet hairbrush and it has been fantastic for controlling my hair.
I notice texturally my hair tends to have a somewhat paradoxical feeling of being dry and oily at the same time. Even after shampooing, if I feel my hair, the skin on my hand will seem to have a bit of oily buildup on it. But even so, you can see that my hair is often frizzy and the physical sensation as I touch it is of it being rather dry.
It often takes a bit of time to soak my hair when showering, maybe 3-4 minutes of running water. When wet, my hair sits at about my pec, and I’ve measured some follicles to be over 16" long, though when dry the hair bounces up significantly, barely touching my shoulders.
##Goals I would love my hair to not be so voluminous when dry. It is poofy, out of control. I just want it to sit down a little more so I can have it down without constantly battling it to not get in my face and mouth.
I want my hair to feel smoother. Is silky a goal? Who knows. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on my hair over the years and I feel like it could be much better looking than it is now.
If kinkiness and tangles are an inevitable symptom of my hair type, so be it. Otherwise, I would really enjoy being able to run my hands through my hair without accidentally putting strands out in the process.
Thank you for your consideration and time!
Techniques and products and behaviors that work well on straight hair can be disasterous for curly hair.
The thinning that hairdressers do can sometimes damage the hair and make it more frizzy. Ideally, you want each chunk of group of hair to end at the same length, so they can form a lock. So for example, I let the damaged broken hair grow out, make sure my nutrition is good so I’m growing good hair, and then asked for a couple of simple layers to cut it off and bring all the ends mostly even with each other. No texturing. Long hair is compatible with curls. Don’t go for short haircuts.
Silky is achievable. Silky is a goal. Set your sights on silky. It takes technique and skill and time, but is worthwhile to persue. It can be a sign that your health and diet is right.
Pay attention to what breaks the hair (making the ends uneven): aggressive dry brushing, certain uncovered elastic bands that are too tight, etc. These damaging things are forbidden.
Quick instructions for a fast result:
Comb out gently with wide toothed comb when hair is wet and well lubricated with conditioner. Dont towel dry, but gently squeeze out the water with your fist or a twist. Try not to disrupt the grouping of the hair. Allow to dry but not completely, until still damp. Add a product that’s meant for curly hair with a bit of hold. (Put an appropriate amount in palm, rub your hands together and run your fingers with product through the hair to spread it out) Twist a chunk around your finger and pull downward/outwards to lock. Not a tedious process, you can do large chunks at a time. Air dry or gentle blow drying with a diffuser attachment if you’re in a rush. Or just put it in a t-shirt turban and go to bed.
It’s addictive. Soon you’ll be buying satin pillowcases. ;)
Edit: holy f’ing shit ignore the f’er that’s telling you to clip off your hair entirely. That’s the wrong advice. Don’t do it man. Your hair is good. It takes years for some people to get it that long.
I haven’t had the chance to go through and reply to everyone in this thread yet but I really appreciate your advice here. I’m definitely going to look into a hair mask and conditioners and post shower care. Some of the advice here has been a bit untopical as I’m a guy, like some haircut options, but I’m definitely looking on keeping the hair. As it stands, today my hair was extremely curly and held its locks really well. I just let it air dry without toweling aggressively and used no shampoo today. I also have been keeping my hair down more instead of constantly keeping it in a tight tail.
I can’t imagine the kind of results I will get if I really go on the offensive with good haircare products, better care practice and time.
And no worries, I am ABSOLUTELY not just going to “chop it all off”! I’m frankly not convinced that commenter was not a troll haha
This is a really good result looks-wise. Great definition and still enough volume to look good. I think just a trim & shaping and don’t let them thin it this time. How long did it take to dry?
If you want to try styling with gel (I think it would get you a similar look just would hold up for longer) and have a Sally Beauty by you, the “Biotera Alcohol -Free Gel with Bamboo” certainly punches above its weight class as a styler. Like $15 for a whole liter and works well, medium hold - light enough so your hair can set up not have to fight it but strong enough to help it remember its style.
On the other end of the price spectrum, best gel in the world is Ouidad Climate Control Extreme. It’s a medium hold gel, despite the name, and feels good and I don’t know where you live but it does perform beautifully in humidity.
These recommendations based on the assumption that you have the coarse gauge, resistant individual hairs because you said it takes awhile to get wet. (Also if you have that hair type do shampoo sometimes, maybe once a week or every 10 days. It does need it. I use the Malibu C Hard Water shampoo, it’s gentle.)
Don’t brush it for a start. When you are in the shower use a wide toothed comb to detangle. Shower less if possible, it may seem like the opposite of what you’d want to to but your killing your hair by shampooing too much and it’s possible the shampoo you are using is really bad. Unfortunately I have to use a sulphate shampoo with salicylic acid for my hair and that really harsh so I have experience here. My hair is also incredibly thick and has a low porosity.
Here’s what I do; I wash my hair once a week and when I do I first put in a any conditioner (silicone or no silicone bc I’m using sulphates anyway) then I detangle and mix in my shampoo. Once that’s done I then use a deep conditioner that sits in my hair for roughly ten minutes making sure to gently massage the hair to make sure it gets everywhere. Once I rinse that out I’ll use my normal conditioner (Shea moisture works best for me) and then let that sit for a bit before squeezing the moisture out of my hair as much as possible but leaving the conditioner in. I then let it air dry or plop it depending on what I’m feeling.
I know that sounds like a fuck ton of work and it sorta is but you only gotta do it once a week and you’ll likely have better results and less complexity of you don’t have to use sulphates like I do
You don’t rinse out the Shea Moisture in the final step? Is it okay to leave that in as your hair dries?
I do not rinse it out and it seems to work great for me. I can’t speak for how good it is for your scalp as my dandruff is a constant issue but it makes my hair look nice for sure.
The main thing that made a world of a difference in my hair feeling silky even though it still has some frizz (that’s just a part of life with curly hair) was using Olaplex #3 after showering. You have to wrap your head with a microfiber towel first so the extra water doesn’t dilute the product, and then once it’s still damp but not soggy, apply the olaplex (like you would conditioner), and comb it through with a deiman brush or similar. Then you tuck it all into a plastic shower hair mask (like the cheap ones you use to dye your hair), and put a beanie on top of the shower mask. The beanie warms and opens the hair cuticle so that it absorbs more of the good stuff, so make sure all the hair is tucked under it. I tend to leave this on for 20 min and then rinse as usual. Once every 1-2 weeks gives amazing results IMO.
I will look at that, thank you. I have to return some products I initially wanted to try but decided against given the scathing reviews online and I’ll stop by Ulta tomorrow to see if they have that, and do some research on other shampoos and conditioners they have.
I used to use Pattern for a while, and although I did generally like it, the price was very high. Maybe that’s just normal and the cost of having healthy, long hair.
I’ve never heard of Pattern, but for me what has been the most easy and economical approach has been the Shea Moisture Products. I only wash my hair with shampoo 1-2 times a week so I don’t focus so much on the health benefits on that end. Every other day that I shower I mainly use conditioner on my ends to de-tangle my hair, and none/very little on the scalp to avoid weighing down the curls at the root, and I try not to rinse out too much of the conditioner bc it helps maintain frizz when I style it. Using that shower cap/beanie method with various hair masks has made all the difference. Another one I highly recommend is Joico K-Pak reconstructor deep penetrating treatment. This one won an award it’s so good. The olaplex line has proprietary technology which is what makes that one so good. I hope you find something that works for you! I’d love to hear how it goes if you do end up finding your thing!
My hair looked a lot like that when I used to brush it. When you say it is thick - thick individual hairs, not just many hairs, correct? That’s my hair too. I urge you to put down the brush. I used to brush my hair because it tangled so much, all these ladies on the old naturallycurly board used to tell me not to brush my hair. I thought they were crazy, or just had different hair. But once I had a crop of never brushed hair, it was so much smoother (still not soft, it’s not a soft hair type, but it’s smooth and strong. It is not so dry either). I use my fingers and a wide tooth comb to detangle for 15 years now. And never did I ever suspect it was damaged before, never a split end, never any obvious sign of damage even really long but the roughness and tangling was from micro damage. I thought my hair TYPE was tangly, understand? But now I can detangle while shampooing. That change just from never brushing.
Haircut sort of depends on your goals for looks, and how much you are willing to do to style & maintain it. Without seeing your face, I think probably leave it long, just clean up the ends and maybe some layers only at the bottom edge. But if you are willing to restyle each day, short haircut with curls on top would look modern and classic and easier to keep short hair healthy. Much maintenance in haircuts though.
Since I think our underlying hair type is similar, I am going to make a specific product and technique recommendation my stylist taught me. Innersense Hydrating Cream Conditioner, and lots of water. Section your very wet, clean hair by splitting horizontally to leave just the nape hair out, take a pump of the conditioner and rake it through that bottom hair until it feels smooth and organized, add water as needed to keep it really wet. Repeat, moving upward, at the end you will have conditioned, smooth hair. At this point if there is too much conditioner in there I section the hair again, grabbing the ends in my hand, scrunched, rinsing briefly only at the roots. “Too much” takes experience to figure out, but if your hair is resistant like mine you want conditioner on it, to dry into it, to add pliability and moisture - if you rinse too much you will lose it all. But all that water makes a difference too. I used to remove excess water and use only leave in, this (admittedly fussier) half rinsing business has improved my hair, and that Innersense conditioner - not their whole line - is absolutely magic in a bottle.
Good luck and you aren’t starting from a bad place, it looks pretty good, I agree it can look even better.
ETA - be really careful about ‘thinning’ the hair. Strategic thinning with regular shears can work. Thinning shears in curly hair will cause frizz and heartbreak. Never let them use thinning shears and be very wary of the razor as well - that’s not an absolute no but most stylists don’t know how to use them in curly hair. You need your “clumps” pretty intact to get defined curls. Oh, and no, I regret to inform you that running your fingers through dry curly hair will always cause frizz. Mine is wound much looser and NO I cannot run my fingers through without the style going to shit.
I use a combination of:
- salicylic acid (specifically for scalp treatment)
- hyaluronic acid (Again, for hair)
You should be able to find them from many different brands. I use The inkeylist just because it was the first brand I found and it worked
The salicylic stuff is great for helping control that oily but dry combo and the hyaluronic stuff helps keep your hair feeling moist without feeling overly oily. I generally use the salicylic in the shower before shampooing and then the hyaluronic after towel drying and brushing my hair (then let air-dry). You can also use a curling/volumizing serum if you want but I haven’t found a good one yet
Here are a few additional photos: one of the top of my head to see the texture better; one of an individual hair to see an example of my curl type; and a head shot.
I know you’re going to hate this but I’d recommend clipping it all off. I had hair about 2/3 this length but managing it as someone with coarse hair always ended up being a lot harder than i thought it would be and it never looked or felt like i wanted it to.
I will say that when my hair was shorter than it is now, maybe 2 years ago, it was at max about 7-8" follicles and it was very difficult to manage. It was too short to tie up and too long to just sit and behave. Having such thick, curly, coarse hair, it lent itself to poofing out and I had a bit of the “jew-fro” thing going on for a few months. Once it reached enough length and weight to lay down care got much easier.
Wow! Your hair is gorgeous!
I’ve never really been able to freely run my fingers or a straight comb through my hair, as it gets caught on random kinks or tangles along the way. I use a soft bristle wet hairbrush and it has been fantastic for controlling my hair.
I have wavy hair, and nowhere near as thick and luscious as yours, and even then my hair does exactly as you describe. It’s part of the texture really. When brushing this type of hair, it poofs up, a bit like Emma Watson in the first Harry Potter film. Combs are better for when using flat irons or when cutting hair. For detangling you’ll want a wet brush, and you’ll want to work from the lower parts of your hair up to not damage the hair too much. Though I gather you’ve already realised this, since working top down is nigh impossible without using force and making the hair snap.
I notice texturally my hair tends to have a somewhat paradoxical feeling of being dry and oily at the same time. Even after shampooing, if I feel my hair, the skin on my hand will seem to have a bit of oily buildup on it. But even so, you can see that my hair is often frizzy and the physical sensation as I touch it is of it being rather dry.
This actually isn’t all that weird. Shampoo is really just meant to do one thing: clean your scalp and hair from residue. Shampoos with oils and stuff is kind of bogus because they add what they’re meant to remove. When you shampoo your hair properly it’s just meant to feel clean.
This video has some good tips on how to choose a good shampoo. Essentially, a good shampoo will leave your hair clean, and possibly after an adjustment period, you won’t have to wash your hair as often. With the right shampoo you’ll be rid of the oil really fast.
Regarding the moisture, you’ll want to start using a hair mask every so often. The first couple of times you might want to leave it in for a while, I usually do half an hour or so, before rinsing. Once the moisture is restored you can probably get away with just doing a five minute mask whenever you feel like your hair needs a pick-me-up.
The same guy has a video on this too, actually.
Always use conditioner. I’m not entirely sure what’d be best for your hair type. As a wavy hair person I want to make use of really light products that don’t leave too much in, since oils and such would weigh down my hair and gravity would prevent the waves from forming well. People with really curly hair generally use quite heavy products because their hair curls really well anyway. I’m not 100% sure on your hair type, but I think you fall more into the type that can use heavier products without much issue.
Lastly, once you’ve showered, you’ll want to use a leave-in conditioner on your hair, and some hair oil on the ends of your hair to help seal the moisture in. Other styling things (mousse, gel, etc) can help create a better hold.
As far as products go, it really differs depending on your hair and its needs, and where you live. The products that work great for me might not cut it for you, or even be available where you are.
