Bone Tomahawk had a VERY short checklist to meet.

• Someone gets scalped with a bone Tomahawk

And BOY did they deliver and more.

I’m gonna put “quotes” wherever I “damn” well please

You’re not my “real” dad

My grandfather owned a farmhouse out in Nebraska, and we’d go out to the “crick” and wade around in leech infested waters and get bit by mosquitos until sundown. Then we’d pick ticks off the farm dog and dread going to the bathroom because he had a rule “if it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down”

He also ran a nudist colony in the desert in California during the winter months. Interesting man.

What a joke. Valuing pirated games as full value for a fucking video game bust.

I got into an argument with a coworker over whether or not Grover qualifies as a sex icon. Everyone agrees that Gonzo is, but Grover was much more divisive.

Todd Howard is essentially an alternative religious figure at this point, and I’m tired of pretending he’s not.

You win

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My ex-girlfriend used to break oatmeal cookies over my bare chest and would vacuum it up with a Bissell handheld vacuum. She’d call me her oatmeal boy and make me empty the vacuum after we were done.

She got out of prison last year and tried to crash at my place. Haven’t heard from her since.

Just rewatched the 13th floor this week, it’s SO close to being excellent, but doesn’t quite reach what it could be capable of.

Fun flick, main actor is better than I remembered.

Pen Pen and Ms. Frizzle would get along well.

Note: I am the friend.

Pablo Sanchez was fucking juicing as a child and you can’t prove me wrong. Motherfucker was sending balls into orbit.

Gallavants legit feels like a propaganda film about NOT following your dreams and that the nail that sticks out gets the hammer.

My grandma tried to gaslight me into thinking it was my favorite movie as a kid, but I always hated it.

Came here for this

Reanimation is underrated as hell and is aging like fine wine.

I would shake Rich Evan’s dick to get the last of his pee out if he asked me.

Dangerously based

Thanks doc

Happy Chaos main spotted