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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • Cade@beehaw.orgtoLGBTQ+@beehaw.orgWhy We Hate Bi Men
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    1 year ago

    I don’t care how many times people explain to me that “kill all men” doesn’t actually mean kill all men. It still hurts. Ever since I transitioned, I’ve noticed the casual misandry thrown about everywhere like it’s not a big deal, but it’s a big deal to me. “All men are trash” includes me.

    I’ve always had an issue with the idea that generalizations are okay. If “all men are trash” actually means “the patriarchy is trash”, just say that. I understand a lot of it as simply venting, but it’s almost never constructive or helpful, and it certainly isn’t fun to hear as a trans dude. Hell, part of the reason it took so long for me to accept myself as a man is because of this kind of rhetoric.

    I hope it gets better, because it does feel very alienating whenever I encounter it. I want to be a part of queer spaces, but it’s hard when you feel hated.



  • I mean, that’s up to you. But I guarantee you will both feel better and maybe help save the world if you try doing something beyond getting angry and then disassociating.

    Consider the fact that headlines that instill fear and doom work against us. What use is trying if it’s all fucked anyway? The thing is it isn’t over until it’s over. I can’t make you have hope, but hopefully you can come to realize that hope does a lot more for us than giving up. If you can envision a better future, you can work towards it! You can help advocate in your local Citizen’s Climate Lobby chapter, develop a good garden for local wildlife and pollinators, or even just helping others be aware of the issue can help. There’s no one coming to save us, so it’s up to us to save ourselves.

    Or you can just get angry and do nothing.

    I understand the anxiety. I was frozen from it for a long time. But what helped more than anything else was simply going outside and tending a garden. Find a love for the life on this planet, and try to protect it. There’s so much worth fighting for.









  • I always really appreciate the effort y’all put into clarifying how you want this community to be run or actions y’all are taking. I wanna say that I really enjoy the feeling I get here: that people typically are good faith and see the human on the other side. Being a mod or admin and trying to exemplify the community you hope to foster has to be incredibly exhausting. That being said, the effort is noticeable, and I’m really thankful for y’all’s passion for this project of beeing nice :)


  • Cade@beehaw.orgtoChat@beehaw.org*Permanently Deleted*
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    1 year ago

    The problem from my point of view is people not spaying/neutering cats, and then inevitably a feral population will show up. Many cats can have a litter at 6 months old. I’ve personally watched generations of cats grow outside my workplace.

    It’s a huge problem. All the local shelters are beyond max capacity JUST FROM CATS. Feral cats explode in population, and the only real way to get populations under control is more Trap-Neuter-Return programs along with educating cat owners on why they absolutely must spay/neuter. There is no excuse not to.

    https://www.alleycat.org/our-work/trap-neuter-return/




  • In defense of the tumblr gender… everything. I didn’t really know that trans people existed until the “discourse”. To be fair, I was a pretty sheltered kid, but like… I had no idea it was even an option. At the time I did think it was “stupid” and had a short anti-sjw phase spurred on by r/TumblrInAction, but at the end of the day I became aware that trans people existed mostly because of kids on the internet and their genders. So thanks tumblr.


  • I’m also in east Tennessee and have been brainstorming an exit plan in a worst case scenario. It sucks because I really do love it here.

    As far as trans rights go, the US is a lot better than a lot of countries just because we have informed consent. I was actually looking into what countries are good for trans folks and the list is shorter than you’d think. Honestly, if we fight it out here, I think the US could become one of the best places to be trans in.

    But yeah… With what’s happening with Vanderbilt, it’s probably a good idea get an exit plan at the very least



  • If they’re your best friend, they should be able to listen to you.

    I used to have many shit opinions, and it took a lot of friends and a lot of conversations for me to change. It’s hard. But it’s thanks to them that I get to step into the best version of myself and be able to give back… Just know you are in a unique position to maybe get through to them, if they’re willing to listen.

    That being said… I’m so sorry. I’ve lost close family to bigotry and it sucks. It’s the betrayal that’s the worst part. It’s like… I know you aren’t like this, so how did you get this way? Just sucks