the_itsb (she/her)

  • 2 Posts
  • 54 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 11th, 2023

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  • I love this! I feel this too.

    I’m 41, so a lot of my age-peers are running up against the cumulative effect of decades of neglecting their bodies and starting to curse the aging process, but I’m secretly kinda loving it. I made a conscious choice to be more active in my 30s, and now I’m in the best shape of my life.

    I have much less energy and so many fewer fucks to give, and this means I’ve had to learn to be strategic and learn when to cut out things - including relationships - that aren’t edifying.

    I’m a traditionally cute petite cis woman, and I had fantasized my whole life about shaving my blonde curls off and freeing myself from those golden chains, so I finally buzzed it this spring, and it looks great. And I am in stealth mode all the time now!! Nobody ever recognizes me until they see me with my husband, it’s hilarious and awesome every time.

    I know myself and my own capabilities better, so I am better about not getting myself in over my head, and I’m more able to ignore skeptics and naysayers. Most of the time, I no longer feel the need to be overly polite and accommodating to their desire to give me unsolicited advice, which is awesome.

    I am having a tremendous amount of fun getting old, and I think you will too! I love your attitude. ✊




  • This is kinda my take, too; after reading OP’s post, I was left wondering how much time they spend on here and what they’re doing outside it.

    I know everyone’s ability and opportunity to be engaged with the world is different, so I hope this doesn’t come off as a “touch grass” kinda thing, that’s not how I mean it at all. For people with difficulties communicating or mobility issues, sometimes being online is the best way to engage with the world, and I totally get that. However, I think it’s unwise to put all of our social eggs in one basket; we need multiple platforms for communicating and outlets for expression and connection. What ways are you connecting with people outside Lemmy?

    When I’m feeling sad and disconnected, I like to work against it by sowing the kindness and understanding I would like to be reaping. This is pretty common advice - it’s not unusual for someone going through a rough patch to be told to try volunteering for something they care about - and for me, it is almost always Super Effective.

    So, maybe posting on a social media board could be fulfilling, if gone into with the attitude of finding a way to contribute instead of trying to find what is needed.

    Idk, maybe that doesn’t make sense, I’m not fully caffeinated yet and out of medication and I know I’m not totally with it. But hopefully I’m getting the gist across: posting/commenting would ideally not be your primary (or only) way of connecting with others, posting is usually not satisfying, but empathetic/meaningful commenting can be, and if there’s not already a meaningful reply to something, try making one and see how it feels. It might feel better than you expected to be that first meaningful comment even if nobody ever replies; sometimes heartfelt expression can be its own reward.





  • I would be delighted to wear a Beehaw shirt out and about, and I’d love a Beehaw sticker for my laptop. I am happy to contribute labor to making these things happen - please let me know if I can assist in any way. My design skills are mediocre, but I am capable of taking an existing thing and turning it into a format that works for various applications, and I’m familiar with setting up basic online storefronts for print-on-demand etc.


  • Can I ask what is perhaps a very silly question - why are you advocating for cute cat gifs as thanks on BEEhaw, shouldn’t it be adorable bee gifs? We contribute, and the little bee gathers up pollen and then poots a happy little glitter confetti pollen fart or something? Idk.

    I’m allergic as fuck to bees and wasps, I had a bad wasp encounter last year that has left me with PTSD regarding everybody who goes BUZZ BUZZ, I vastly prefer cats and dogs as animals to share space with - but this is Beehaw, it just seems totally wrong for any official anything to not involve bees.



  • novelty comment bots don’t bother me much either as long as they’re not drowning out actual conversation

    Same - honestly, I generally find them legitimately amusing! - but I worry that most Lemmy instances are too young/inactive for this kind of bot yet. I don’t think we’re past the tipping point where the people commenting will automatically outweigh the bots, and I don’t think those bots are fun unless they’re dramatically outweighed by normal human interaction. It’s not novel if that’s all the comment thread ever is, you know what I mean? And novelty is the true spark of humor imho; things usually have to be at least a little surprising to be actually funny.