Reminds me of my partner and I’s story of “Two Knives Guy”
So we’re looking for a place for dinner downtown at dusk and this kind of guy starts following us. We are just outside one of those bustling Italian places where there’s this outdoor seating lit by brewer’s cable and there’s like a whole bunch of people milling about waiting for tables or drinking. We are just at the edge of the crowd when behind us the guy calls for our attention.
We turn and he has a knife in each hand, one trained on either of us. I tense thinking that okay - it’s a VERY short run to safety but I am not leaving my partner, if this guy attacks I’m protecting my man. The mugger gives us his best glower and goes “GIMMEYRMMMMERRGGR”
My partner blinks as though confused by his intentions “Umm… What?”
I feel like face-palming.
"GIMMEYRMMMMERRGGR!!! "
“I… sorry what are you asking?”
The guy just looks at us like we’re complete idiots he turns to me and I just shrug. He tries one more time and my partner just goes “I don’t understand…” and the guy, who realizes somebody in that busy establishment is gunna notice what’s going on eventually just growls, feigns a slash at my partner and runs away.
When we were talking about it over dinner we broke the interaction down and we were like. The guy had a knife in each hand… If we tried to hand him something how would he take it? I dunno if we rolled a 20 or if the guy rolled a nat 1.
I had a friend slap a knife out of a dudes hand by accident at a gas station once. The way he tells is, he was in line to pay, guy in front of him pulled a knife on the cashier, friend made a “oh shit” noise, guy turns around, friend drops his shit and somehow simultaneously knocks the knife out of the guys hand while clumsily trying to raise his own hands in a “don’t stab me” guesture. Knife dude was running for the door before the knife hit the floor.
Friend got all the praise for saving the day, but he lets us know it was all a nat 20 luck roll and divine intervention from a trickster god.
To this day, I don’t know how I managed this one, but when I was living in Bogota, there was this guy who always tried to sell me coke. Every time I saw him, he would stop me to chat. Late one night, my friend and walk to the corner store, and this neighborhood dealer guy was at the side door of the shop with some woman.
We were all trying to buy alcohol illegally the night before an election—they have a law that they have to stop selling by like 10p or midnight the night before a federal election. Anyway, I say something to the woman, asking if they’ve seen the shopkeeper. This woman goes off about Argentinians because she thought I was Argentinian. I didn’t correct her because…what was I going to say, “no, don’t worry, I’m from the US! We’ve never meddled in your country and you’d have no reason to hate me now!” So I said nothing and started dealing with the shopkeep.
She and my drug dealer buddy—I thought we were buddies, anyway—buy their beer and step off to the side. As I talk with the shop dude, I hear her continuing to rant behind me, but I wasn’t listening. This is all over the span of a couple min, the shopkeeper constantly telling me to keep an eye out for cops between our interaction. As this is happening, the dealer dude comes up and is kinda trying to talk to me while I deal with the shopkeep through a crack in the door while also keeping a lookout for cops rolling up. Dealer dude is just kinda standing there, maybe four feet away from me. Awkwardly. Hovering, really.
I wasn’t really alarmed, but I was definitely aware of him. ‘Cause it was weird. But he was a weird ass dude. Anyway, I pay the shopkeep, hand the bag of beer to my friend, and turn around to walk away. As I turn, I’m digging one hand deep in my pocket to shove my change in there. Drug dealer guy is now kinda 3/4 behind me, but out of the corner of my eye I see him lunge at me like a fuckin Disney villain, knife raised over his head, trying to stab me like he was Jafar.
Somehow i react like a goddamn ninja, and I suddenly have both his wrists in my hands, and we’re grappling as he tries to push the knife into my goddamn neck. A few seconds of struggling, him trying to stab me and me with both of his wrists in my hands before I managed to create a little space between us, so I rear back and fuckin Sparta kick this dude square in the solar plexus. He goes flying and rocks his tailbone against the curb.
Still the coolest thing I’ve ever done to this day. Fuckin nuts in hindsight. Dude was going for a straight up kill shot.
The interesting part is, did you ever buy stuff at his ever again?
I never bought anything from him in the first place! But we were always friendly and would chat for a few min when we crossed paths.
The next night…this dude comes up to a group of us and starts talking trying to sell us shit. The next night. He didn’t acknowledge me.
A true businessman for sure
Honestly at that point you just gotta respect the man’s hustle
I have a friend who is a legitimate badass, like “can successfully fight 5 people at the same time and win” kind of badass. Someone pulled a knife on him once and without hesitation my friend bitch slapped the dude so hard that he fell to the ground and dropped the knife. That was pretty cool.
Bonus point if he shouted “No!” at the same time
THAT’S MY PURSE!
“I don’t know you!”
“Bad! Drop it!” WHAP
My friend was going for a run one day in the park holding her phone in her hand which she was using to play music. A guy jumped out at her and karate chopped her arm which held the phone, but she didn’t drop it. He stood there kind of perplexed what to do next, as did she. Then she said “SERIOUSLY??”, which kind of woke the guy up again. He started to reach into his pocket for something, so she turned around and bolted. The guy didn’t chase her.
Lmao. My cousin was walking down the street once when a group of 14 year old girls surrounded her and demanded her phone. She laughed and walked past them, but then they started to follow her. So she ran, and they started chasing after her. This went on for a few seconds until her emotions kicked in. At that point she turned around, seething with rage, made a “RRRAAAH” scream, and sprinted at them. They bolted.
I was walking to the train station once when a guy said “do you want to buy this?” and showed me a flick knife.
“No, I’m alright thanks” I said and carried on walking, and he went his own way.
It was only later that I realised that was a really odd question to ask, and I might not have heard him properly. I did have headphones in at the time and there was traffic. Plus I’m slightly deaf anyway.
There’s probably some crackhead out there still wandering how he got Derren Browned out of mugging someone.
He probably was just trying to sell it for quick cash, but who knows.
I had an NPC in a RPG that was kind of like this. A werewolf was going berserk in a church. The players were like “Reg! Get out of there!”. Reg sees the werewolf rip a corporate stooge in half and come running at him. He goes, “Bro. Fucking metal.”
Rolls really high on his social check. Werewolf high fives him and just runs by to go murder more corporate leadership.
So what you’re saying is, we need more werewolves.
see, that’s less interesting because it wasn’t a real event, but rather a simulated event
Hahahahahahahahahaha
I have a hard time telling what this person rolled in the knife situation. Awareness may have been like a 2. Intimidation could have either been a 2 or a 19. I mean the person had 0 idea why they had a knife, nor was considered a threat to let them leave first… or after. For all we know dude robbed the whole store, asked everyone if they had a problem staying silent and dudes just fucking munching out on a cookie. If they switch to doughnuts they could have been a 90s cop.
No lie, i did a cool line like this for real which isn’t like me usually (I should mention im a dude probs)
On vacay near the French quarter, half-hammered and fully lost trying to get back to my hotel, a group of street kids crosses the street to get behind me. Maybe after a block of me playing it like I’m cool, this deep voice says from right behind me,
“i’m… gunna rape ya.”
I whirled around and saw this guy leering down at me. Even if he weren’t larger and younger than me, even if he didn’t have half a dozen friends, I’m not tough. In the time i finished spinning i knew i wouldn’t be winning any fights, but i surprised myself by asking
‘Mouth or ass?.. I just want to know what kind of night I’m having.’
He looked as surprised as i felt and laughed honestly.
You’re alright, dude!
and everyone
clappedjust walked away chuckling, i found my hotel, and a fresh pair of underwear.Based on my experiences with street punks around there they were probably just fucking with you.
Lol, I’m sure glad they were cuz I’m not a track guy either.
Ha! That’s how you survive on the mean streets if you don’t know how to fight.
If someone was waving a knife at me, and I had a spare cookie, I’d offer them one.
Cookies make the world a better place.
I just got certified to teach violence deescalation classes to other people that work in acute inpatient mental health after almost a decade in the field. When I saw the OP it reminded me of how most people have to hype themselves up to be violent in some way and it usually involves either placing themselves in life or death opposition to the other person’s goals or dehumanizing them completely. Saying “idk I’m just eating this cookie” or even offering them one are both great ways to come at that mindset sideways (which is the best way); you’re not directly confronting them or their goals you’re just stating a very basic bit of information that contradicts that overall mindset. And it’s so basic that they should even be able to process it while high as tits on adrenaline.
Is this an american day to day occurance?
Eating cookies? No, that’s the dream.
unprovoked violent threat; victim so calloused to violence they still communicate simply and honestly; assailant sparing the innocent and guiding them to a safer area
Is this an american day to day occurance?
It’s pretty much every encounter I’ve ever had with a gang member.
I feel like I’ve been in multiple shitty situations where I was saved by being dumb or weird and the would-be attacker being either confused or amused enough to let me be.
Not the most exciting, but I once answered a skeezy call at 2:00am. It was a holiday, so I was one of maybe 6 people in the dormitory. It was very much a horror story setup. The caller said something unpleasant and it was 2:00am so I didn’t really get what he said. “I’m sorry, could you call back tomorrow? Be happy to talk about it then, but right now I’m super tired.”
Probably wouldn’t have even remembered it if the young woman across the hall hadn’t gotten a call the same night. She told me about it the next day. He somehow managed to briefly convince her that he was her highschool boyfriend. They talked for a few minutes before she realized it wasn’t him.
As for me? Dirty bastard never called me back.
(Probably necessary context: College, early nineties, there was a campus phone book that literally gave your name, dorm, room, and phone extension. Finding a woman alone during the holiday was as easy as looking at rooms with lights on and checking the book.)
OMG you triggered a memory. 1990 college girls dorm, same setup with the phone numbers. Guy would call and ask us about our fingernails. Eventually we started talking about it and older ones would warn the new ones moving in…
Girl code at its best. That de-escalates getting that call from a horror movie situation into, “Oh - this is the fingernail creeper they’ve told us about. Bye.”
I never heard about a repeat performance from our caller. Now I’m curious if he graduated or what.
No. Most of us don’t have 7-11.
Good point. This is probably in Japan.
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We have so many 7-11s in my area; do other states not have them‽ I’ve traveled quite a bit but it’s honestly not something I kept a tally of
They disappeared in a lot of places. They were replaced by Casey’s, Kwik Stop, and Kum n Go (that’s a real fucking name btw)
Kum & Go is no more. Maverik bought them and rebranded them.
Damn, I’m going to miss driving by the Ejaculate & Evacuate as I drive through.
Bruh they out here ruining our fun
Damn I’m going to miss the full body lattes
Huh. I drive by two on my way anywhere, and a half dozen Mavericks. My parents live near a corner with two 7-11 convenience stores, one of which also has 7-11 gas.
I’m 53 and I’ve never seen an armed robbery, even lived in Chicago and worked on the South Side. Also, I can hardly think of a time I saw in gun in public that wasn’t on a cop.
I’ve been robbed at knife point, but that was on me. Not going to tell that story!
I saw someone pointing a gun at someone else in Hollywood in the late 90s. Didn’t stick around to find out what was going on, but there was no gunshot, so I assume it didn’t end too badly.
A few years back, I was carrying groceries back to my car when a guy approached me pointing at me with something obscured by his jacket pocket and said he had a gun and wanted me to take him somewhere. I paused and decided that even though he probably didn’t have one I wasn’t willing to risk it, and besides, I had time to give him a lift. Once he was in the car he said he didn’t have a gun and thought I was just going to tell him to fuck off. I said I wasn’t a risk taker. He talked about being on the run from the police and started talking about how he was in his 30s and needed to stop doing things like this. I never saw any police, so he might have just been paranoid, but who knows. He had me drop him off behind a building not too far away. A strange experience - he should have tried asking nicely instead.
Lol at I’ve never SEEN one…but I have BEEN in one.
I’ve been robbed at knife point, but that was on me. Not going to tell that story!
You can’t just say stuff like that and refuse to elaborate!
Well, it seems like he can
My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
I live in a more southern area and I’ve seen so many people with guns
Queue dude with a hand cannon strapped to his belt in the produce section of Walmart.
No. It’s not uncommon in rough parts of town in major cities, but it’s also not something that most people will encounter, especially if they’re not in the really bad parts of town.
Yup, I’m kinda old and never seen anything like this. The closest I’ve seen is a dude open carrying a gun shopping at a grocery store just talking with his wife.
Nothing ever happens to the average person…
I’ve had knives pulled on me a couple times, and a gun one time. I also had a crazy Nazi tweaker threaten me with a homemade hatchet. But I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, and continued associating with a lot of the wrong people into young adulthood. The first half of my life was very far from average. What’s interesting is that those experiences never really leave you. I live in an extremely safe area now, but I’m still hyper aware of my environment when I’m out, and I spot potential threats long before my friends are aware of anything sketchy.
Pulling a knife seems more London. US would have a gun pulled.
But then wouldn’t it be a biscuit or something instead of a cookie
Neat, TIL
Knife murders are also higher stateside: there were 4.96 homicides “due to knives or cutting instruments” in the US for every million of population in 2016.
In Britain there were 3.26 homicides involving a sharp instrument per million people in the year from April 2016 to March 2017.
Nah, guns are expensive, knives are useful outside of stabbing people. I’d absolutely expect a knife for a simple holdup here.
Guns for show, knives for a pro!
Usually it is a gun. Must of been on a sunday.
What no, is this an honest question? I’ve never seen or been a part of an armed robber nor has anyone close to me
Closest was my dad getting pickpocketed in Rome. He loves to travel and only had that one negative experience.
Nobody in my family has had anything like this happen in the US. Sometimes in Brazil or something, but that’s it.
Yeah. At the very least, it happens with enough regularity in the decently populated cities.
