MaybeALittleBitWeird

I hope you find what you’re looking for. Good luck.

People go to these meetings just to play pool, and they act like the sex drive has been sucked out of them by some kind of alien parasite.

The point of a munch is to be a completely non-sexually, non-kink, social event. They’re also used by more underground groups to vet members and this is a fairly normal experience.

Tops act like bottoms, bottoms act like tops, everyone either has kids or is some kind of little.

If you’re looking for a high protocol master/slave situation, you’re not going to find it organically in a local scene. It honestly sounds a bit more like your attitude here might be stopping you from possibly getting to know people because this comes off as very aloof and judgemental. Not everyone fits nearly into a box, as I’m sure you can attest to.

I get you on the 🐻 though, they aren’t for me either. I just don’t like hairy men mostly 🤷

This is a common problem for anyone living the rural small town life. Just finding kink friendly partners is going to be difficult without adding on another minority preference (not being cishet). The two combined is going to leave you with a pretty limited dating pool. Hell, depending on how small town we’re talking here normal cishet dating can be difficult. I’m in a medium sized city and even the kink scene is still pretty small and mostly couples looking for thirds…

The reality is that if you’re probably going to have to come to terms with the fact that if you want these needs met you’re going to have to travel, either temporarily or on a more permanent basis. If moving isn’t an option maybe make yourself open to LDR relationships with occasional travel for meetups. Fet and Reddit used to be decent for finding things like these even if they kind of suck nowadays.

Sure thing! They’re super quick, incognito, and easy to do once you figure it out, but I do want to stress again that it’s going to be a while before you see any results.

Another discovery and frustration has been the tentative conclusion that I can’t fully come from anal stimulation and may not ever be able to. Right now, I don’t have much desire to perform another test of 3 weeks of penile abstinence and endure the psychological frustration that comes with it in pursuit of the elusive full anal orgasm.

Just want to comment to say the abstinence thing is largely a myth. If that’s your goal you should be working on your kegel exercises. It’s not going to happen overnight though.

You can do these on someone who is AMAB by contracting the muscles of your perineum (the area between your testes and anus), which are the muscles you use to start/stop urination, prolong an orgasm, or lift your cock upwards while erect. Focus on isolating those muscles specifically so if you’re also contracting your anus or abdominals you’re not getting the correct spot. Start by holding for a five seconds and then releasing a few times a day and steadily work up to longer durations.

Chastity, at least solo, isn’t my cup of tea so I don’t have any advice there, but good luck on your journey!

Honestly, I love the foreplay. The penetrative sex itself is obviously great, but getting each other worked up is way more fun in my book.

What do you expect when you insist on watching me work in a sexy maid outfit? How am I supposed to pay attention to what I’m doing!?

I like the outfit! It gives me go-go dancer vibes.

I wouldn’t bother with thinking about it in terms your first point. Old-school vs newer isn’t really relevant to the comparison you’re looking. Crossdressing is something that has a clear definition - dressing in a way that is contrary to the societal expectations for your gender. As you mention it is also more of an objective non-sexual term.

Sissy is a lot more ambiguous and tends to mean something different to each individual. Because of this it’s going to difficult to get a clear answer. It’s a term that, in the way you’re referring, carries a clear sexual implication and usually in my mind comes in tandem with idolizing/embodying feminization(not necessarily crossdressing) and has D/s BDSM roles baked into it generally.

At the end of the day though, do what makes you comfortable and don’t worry so much about labels.

I really don’t know if this is weird or not to say, but I just enjoy pics where you show your lips(face ones 😂). They’re just really nice lips.

I’ve posted my own OC before and I understand completely how fucking weird and aggressive people can be. I don’t want to go into details because this isn’t the place for it but on top of being kink-friendly I have a body type that invites some of the more depraved people. Enough so that I’m really not interested in posting myself any longer.

I just don’t want to see this place turn into the same version of walled gardens that Reddit ended up as. We’ve interacted enough at this point where I think you have a sense of my personality and even I’ve been banned and blocked for some very innocuous comments in the past when the reality is that if I had been told I crossed a line I would have apologized. I know that obviously everyone isn’t as reasonable or understanding, but just like with the conversation with downvotes, you can’t force a user to use a tool appropriately and there will always be bad actors on both sides. I think the one-way communication block allows for the least exploitation while still accomplishing the goal.

I’m not sure about private communities, but maybe someone else can chime in. I know you can disable comments and posts at the very least.

I understand where you’re coming from with your opinion and I don’t think it’s incorrect in any way, but I still personally disagree. A conversation requires two people and if you block off one end it’s no longer that. Just like you mention, they will tired eventually and move on. I’m not sure if Lemmy allows blocked users to comment on posts by users they’ve been blocked by actually though. I would hope not at least because that is a situation I absolutely do not think should be allowed.

I actually prefer the one-way ban personally, but I’m not a poster generally. I would imagine that the people who are enough of a problem to require the two-way ban would just ban-evade with another account anyway.

Blocking is only one way here as well. If you block a user then their comments and posts will no longer appear for you. If there is a comment by the blocked user in a conversation it shows up as ‘There is no record of this comment’ the same as if it was removed by mod action or if it’s the end of the comment chain you just can’t expand it (At least on Jerboa). Blocked communities don’t show in your feed and won’t show up in a search if you try to manually go to it either.

Your own comments and posts will still show to the blocked user however.

I actually wasn’t aware that the mark as read implementation required voting to register as I’ve never had it enabled. That does change my perspective quite a bit of true. I can see that being okay for general news or tech content, but when you add sex, which is largely going to come down to personal preferences, to that it certainly creates problems. Honestly a lot of the problems people are talking about in this thread come down to implementation problems in the end, but we just need to do the best we can with what we have for the time being.

I appreciate your verbalization of the issue at hand. I like to think of the vote system more along the lines of appropriateness upvote=appropriate/good, no vote=appropriate/neutral or not good, and downvote=inappropriate/broken/rule breaking.

Not interacting with a post has about as much of an effect on the non-chronological sorting as a downvote does so essentially you’re just going out of your way to make someone feel bad if it’s an appropriate fit for the community and you use it as an “Ew” button. This behavior becomes especially problematic when it comes to non-promotional OC.

It’s not perfect, but I think removing the downvotes for a brief stint will have a pretty good impact on training user behavior to help facilitate growth until this place is at a point where there is enough core functionality to allow for better solutions.

I’m happy to hear that the overall consensus was for disabling downvotes for the time being. I don’t think this is something that should be in place forever, but for now it’s a step in a positive direction. I’d like to note that other instances can still downvotes posts and comments that are federated so we still might see some issues in that regard.

People seem to want to treat Lemmy as a platform exactly like Reddit, but the reality is that things just don’t work the same here. There is no algorithm filtering things out in the background to ensure you have a homogenous feed and keep you engaged. It takes a little bit of work to curate your feed to be what you’d like to see and just because something is outside your personal preferences and kinks doesn’t mean that it is bad.

I’ve seen people mention multiple times in this thread that they downvote all the “weird” stuff they don’t like. All the same “weird” things exist on Reddit in their own communities, but there is a greater volume of other content posted to the point where you likely won’t see it. This is a place that is starving for content and downvoting someone because they are curvier or don’t like the same kind of hentai as you only dissuades people from posting anything else. You can’t encourage growth by telling people to not post.

Edit: Forgot to mention that I appreciate you mods and admins! I don’t envy the firestorm that this change may cause.

Mmmmmm babypie

Well you didn’t name yourself Nobum 🤷

The fabled Yesbum bum!