I experience pretty high levels of gender dysphoria, but I don’t think a formal gender transition (medical, social) makes sense for me. So, I’m trying to enjoy my gender and thus my life more by doing things that are (privately) very gender euphoric for me but don’t significantly lessen my cis-enough-presentation and -privilege. I’m realizing that chastity cages can play a greater role in this.
I remember the first time I bought a cage and tried it out at home. The session ended in disappointment, when I discovered that I could pull out of the cage. My early chastity play was closely linked to dressing up, sexual activities, and fantasy (e.g., permanent chastity, anal only orgasms).
Another discovery and frustration has been the tentative conclusion that I can’t fully come from anal stimulation and may not ever be able to. Right now, I don’t have much desire to perform another test of 3 weeks of penile abstinence and endure the psychological frustration that comes with it in pursuit of the elusive full anal orgasm.
My new mantra is “chastity is just clothing,” meaning that I want it to be a part of my daily life and routine that is purposeful and not really sexual. Because I really like aspects of chastity. I find putting a cage on for some reason instantly feminizes my posture and gait a bit. Not feeling a dangle or erection between my legs and having a cage on to advertise that I’m bottom-only is a positive affirmation of my true self that makes both looking at porn and simply being out in public in real life more fulfilling. Riding a dildo is also more fun while locked. I haven’t tried this yet, but chastity augmenting submissive dynamics with a keyholder sounds like lots of fun.
I can pretty comfortably stay locked for 12 hours with my current cage, and this period can align pretty well with getting ready in the morning and getting ready for bed. So, I’m going to keep doing that with an eye to maybe get another cage and/or experiment with taking a break during the day and getting into overnight wear
Just want to comment to say the abstinence thing is largely a myth. If that’s your goal you should be working on your kegel exercises. It’s not going to happen overnight though.
You can do these on someone who is AMAB by contracting the muscles of your perineum (the area between your testes and anus), which are the muscles you use to start/stop urination, prolong an orgasm, or lift your cock upwards while erect. Focus on isolating those muscles specifically so if you’re also contracting your anus or abdominals you’re not getting the correct spot. Start by holding for a five seconds and then releasing a few times a day and steadily work up to longer durations.
Chastity, at least solo, isn’t my cup of tea so I don’t have any advice there, but good luck on your journey!
I really appreciate your comment - good fediverse community-building - and also the plug for kegal exercises in particular. I’ve never really given them much thought, but I think it’s time to explore them. Thanks again :D
Sure thing! They’re super quick, incognito, and easy to do once you figure it out, but I do want to stress again that it’s going to be a while before you see any results.
Don’t know if you work better with goals, but 10 reps of 10 second holds, 200 reps a day, is what some anal queens say they can do. And based on their orgasms with chastity video evidence, I’m inclined to believe them. They say it took them 2 weeks to a month.
Anecdotal though.
Really helpful, thanks Emma :)