I know this is not what you asked for, but…I strongly suggest finding excuses to walk outside. And while walking, do NOT look at or use your phone. Instead, look up. Do not look at your feet, at the sidewalk. Look at the horizon, what’s around you. Where do the birds nest? Where is the other wildlife?

I, personally, found a rather similar benefit as to what I get out of meditating. Hope it helps!

The point of meditation is to do it wrong, a lot, for years. Or so I’m told.

I’ve got ADHD, so I don’t enjoy that. It doesn’t relieve my stress. My stress is relieved by really loud music and moving/dancing/raging. Something that resets my senses by overloading them with something pleasant (as opposed to being overloaded by sensory processing issues).

The only one that has reliably worked for me has been the one where I notice my environment using my 5 popular senses. It’s good for when I’m dissociated. It works like this video, but I go slower and really try to engage in what I’m sensing and describing it in objective detail. For example, if I’m feeling my desk, I’ll describe how hard it is, the texture, whether it’s slippery or not, etc. The only thing is to avoid making a value judgement, such as “I don’t like it,” or “This sucks.”

Another one that works for me sometimes it to work on a 1000-piece puzzle. It takes up my attention if I want to complete it, so I need to bring myself back to the moment if I start to trail off. However, it can be mentally tiring if I’ve been over stimulated by mental work.

Lastly, I like to do paint-by-numbers, such as this one. I take it, a blanket, a bottle of water, a cup, and a small folding table to the park. At the park, I find a nice place where I will see and hear people, but not interact with them. I place my blanket on the grass, open up the table, and get to paining. The experience is nice because I’m outside, I hear life all around without it bothering me, and I stay focus on a calm task that eventually has a beautiful outcome.

Sorry you’ve been stressed 🙁

That’s my secret, I’m always stressed

“don’t work for me” is exactly what I said, “I can NEVER clear my head” I protested. The calm, “Yeah, most of us can’t… it takes practice.” Reply made me realize I misunderstood the point.

I find box breathing quite helpful: breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, breathe out for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, and then keep repeating this. I find the counting soothing, and eventually my mind slows down and I can start noticing the things around me.

My “meditation” is singing along musics from power metal, symphonic metal, etc., specially the extra cheesy ones, like Blood of Bannockburn (by Sabaton), Keeper of the Celestial Flame of Abernethy (by Gloryhammer), The Phoenix (by Fall Out Boy), Defenders of Gaia (by Rhapsody of Fire), Venom of Venus (by Powerwolf), etc. Helps me with dealing with situations of pent-up stress.

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Most techniques don’t work for me either but this one does. There are videos on YouTube and exercises on Spotify etc.

Give mindfulness another try.

Lots of people say it doesn’t work. It does work if actually tried.

I work in mental health and do crisis support. Suicidal and the like. If it works when people are ready to kill themselves it will work when you are highly stressed.

It takes time and especially patience.

Have you tried a so-called “body check” meditation already? It works better for me than the usual thought-focussed meditations as there’s generally less fidgeting with thoughts but a calming form of distraction instead.

Dbt. Cbt.

Starter exercise. There’s a teacup sitting on the table in front if you. Look at it. What’s its shape, color, how is light hitting it? Slowly reach for it, pick ut up, feel the weight in your hands… can do this, with any object, for just 30 seconds once a week. Over time, becomes habit.

At all times, there is chatter going on in your brain. All you need to do is recognize it. Whenever I feel thoughts spiraling out of control, I say a 4 word phrase. Others use different tactics. One person drove a lot for work, and when pulling into intersection, if they saw a stop sign, instant reminder. … practicing this til it becomes habit.

Narrating your actions. I’m back from walk, approaching door, hand on door knobs, taking keys out of my pocket. Narrating forces you to slow down, step by step.

Slow, calm breathing from the diaphragm.

Stop, close eyes. One by one, focus on each of your senses. Taste in mouth. Smell of wet leaves. Warm wind against skin, etc.

The 5 w’s. Recite. My name is, I’m a human, it’s this time and day, I’m at this location, this is why I’m here.

That’s just to start.

Try breathwork. Any kind should have an effect.

Look up Wim Hof. If you feel like it, add the cold stuff in but otherwise just the breathwork is incredible.

Try knitting. It’s a repetitive fidget. There are books and articles on mindful knitting. Basically you just pay attention to what you’re doing, each stitch, and you can think about the person you’re knitting for and the intention you have to keep them warm and show them you care about them.

Hi, late to this but like the heptapods say in Arrival there is no time, so if this helps :

• tldr: try lots, repeat one you like, expect nothing

• I tried many meditation things right before my adult diagnosis, I’d say they all helped

• tldr most of them are : 1. quietly pay attention to your breath in your nose 2. notice you started paying attention to something else 3. return your attention to your breath (repeat 2,3,2,3…)

• I’ve heard no meditation “works” right away or is easy to notice, like meds or a sugar soda, it’s quiet, you can’t tell it did anything

• specifically: started w a very short guided one, any “3 minute meditation deepak chopra” is more or less the same, here is one : https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Io5r7U6CR_o

• tried several til found one I liked, it called it a simple meditative “procedure” so, like at a doctor’s, I just did what the calm nice expert said to do

• I liked it so it was easy to repeat repeat repeat . If I didn’t like it, it would have been a chore :(

• they say everyone’s always meditating “wrong” , when you lose focus you just suddenly realize you were off in a story, I’d used to get mad at myself for Doing It Wrong but slowwwwly got past the annoying extra chore of blaming myself, took foreeeever

• not forever. after ~1y I tried a ten day silent meditation camp, “Vipassana”, key part SILENT. TEN DAYS OF NO ONE SPEAKING OR EXPECTING SOCIAL CONTACT FROM YOU, INCL EYE CONTACT. the teacher talks 3x/day to show you how but that’s it. nope not my crappy loud demanding phone either. ABSOLUTE BLISS.

• I think for n-typicals Vipassana is extreme. I’d never call it easy, it’s WORK, it’s boring and stupid, irritating, cold, and lonely.

• but it was not a waste of time. honestly as intense as LSD or shrooms I had years ago. You go so far out into this … place, and … it’s different for everyone. but for me instead of brain being the usual loud noise :

!@;#;ADHD-/;!!,#ASDF/;;!!zz€ADHD/:!\!

it was like :

==~~__ a___ d___ h____ D___:)

• So. 2y later, do 3 min every day, no guru, no guide, just my brain who in the 80s they made take a short bus to a special class once a week, who never made friends, who always felt so ashamed, angry, cried over how weird I was. AND I have adhd (obv) and take meds and NO meditation is not a cure for anything and it’s ALWAYS boring and stupid and I can’t FEEL it or PROVE it and I’m always, always doing it wrong.

but my god, it’s full of stars.

so give it a shot :)